About 12 hours ago, I was literally screaming at the powerpoint slides on my laptop because I couldn’t understand its flow of logic. By the time I was done revising at a little bit past 2A.M., I was too wound up to go to bed – which had never happened even when I played games or watched movies or read thrillers.
So kids: if you need a quick rush of adrenaline, try doing last-minute cramming for a subject you really have to do well on.
(I do that often, by the way – screaming at inanimate things. It’s satisfying because they can’t scream back)
I woke up today at a little bit past 7A.M. with not enough sleep, not enough revision, but with a need to get changed and get to university.
If you don’t know the story about my university degree, this is pretty much how it goes:
Last December. Finished all my subjects. Attended convocation, feeling the swell of pride for completing my 4 years to get a BA in Management and Finance. January, got a job. Went to work. Boss asked for my diploma, promised him that the university will be sending it over soon. Waited.
February. Still no news. Decide to send an email over to the university. Get called in for meeting. “Look at this. Can you tell me the problem?” Can’t. Course Adviser’s mistake: filled in two times the credit score for doing the subject only once. Still owe the university one subject. But I’m working now. “Well, it was your responsibility to check with us before applying for a job.” Grits teeth and take it in stride. Silently fume at how proficient these folks are at covering their own asses. Forced to quit job. Got back into university to do the last course.
Yup, that’s pretty much it.
So today – on this day of all days – I made myself wake up, had some breakfast, traveled to university, did some more last-minute cramming, and went into the exam hall for the final finals.
Or at least I hope it will be.
I’ve largely accepted by now that life/the universe doesn’t give a shit what I’d like to do or where I’d like to go; and I’ve found that the one underlying law of the way the world works is this: things happen. Who knows? Maybe something might crop up again, and I again will have to delay getting into the working life for the sake of my stupid university degree.
(seriously, I don’t even know why I care anymore)
But for the sake of not being overly pessimistic, I will hold on to the hope that this time, everything will go according to plan. There will be no screw-ups, no miscommunication, the university staff will put their focus less on covering their own asses and more on doing me a favor… A man can dream.
Still. I hope.
And I’ve also largely decided that if all of the above does not happen, I’ll just shrug and tell them that if they want to keep my university degree so badly, they can keep it.
Because I’m out.