269. Wasting Time

(post number 269. Heh heh heh heh– I should really grow up)

I haven’t written a word for A Song For The Rain since Thursday.

There are a lot of things that I could say. I’ll tell you that I was all down and depressed after my failure to make the cut into the Scholastic Asian Book Awards 2014 shortlist. I’ll tell you that work has been piling up, and the deadlines are not getting any further away. I’ll tell you that I worked out so hard over the past few days, I couldn’t feel my triceps for 48 hours.

But we all know that the real reason is because I’ve been playing too much Skyrim.

(that reminds me… *boots up PC*)

I’m good at wasting time. I’m spectacular at it. I don’t like people wasting my time for the same reason I don’t like people trying to feed me: I can do it well enough on my own, thank you very much.

Patience is one of my virtues. I once listened to a girl (whom I have just met) talk about herself for 4 hours straight. It was one of the NaNoWriMo writein sessions, and I thought I’d meet up with the local literati and see how they were doing, at the same time get some writing done.

As it turns out, the local literati weren’t terribly interested in me, and I barely got to write anything. Because this lady, she started talking, and she just refused to stop. I exhausted my variants of “mmhmm”s, “ah”s, “really?”s, and “I see”s, and she still went on. Then again, I found out that she worked as a book reviewer, which I imagine must be a terribly lonely job. That was probably a year’s worth of human interaction for her.

Back to topic: patience is one of my virtues. But as my ex-boss told me, “Your greatest strengths can turn into your greatest weaknesses if you’re not careful.”

(there’s some zen wisdom to be found there)

Which is true, as I reflect. How you treat others is really a reflection of how you treat yourself. By my patience with other people and their various shortcomings (God knows there are too many to keep track of), I have also come to become very accepting of my own flaws, even those that are perfectly within my power to change in order to better myself.

But I can’t help it. Wasting time feels good. You want to talk about retail therapy? I raise you time therapy. Where you don’t burn money on meaningless items, but burn time on meaningless items. People do it all around the world: they clean their houses, they modify their cars, they compile codes, they write books… Whatever it takes to distract them from whatever it is that they are supposed to be doing.

(it’s like drugs. Just, you know, cheaper. Or more expensive, if you subscribe to that idea of “time is money” and throw opportunity costs plus a good dose of slippery slope argument into the mix)

Now excuse me. I intend to game for an hour before going to sleep, and Skyrim calls for me.

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