257. Getting Hired

Today I went for 2 job interviews. During the 2nd one, I was tasked with producing 3 essays on 3 separate topics. The 1st essay I wrote, on how to run a successful company, came up to about 1,200 words. The 2nd essay, a discussion on the saying “money is the root of all evil”, came up to 600 words. Finally, for the 3rd one, about what books I would bring with me to a desert island, I wrote about 500 words before stopping.

All of these were written in the space of 2 hours, between 2.30P.M. and 4.30P.M. as part of an “English aptitude test:, because apparently being a published writer is no indicator of my abilities to write in the English language. But that’s fine. I can accept that. So the 2,300 words were written.

My only regret is not logging in on the office computer to post it up on this blog. Now it’s lost forever.

(unless they use it to print. In which case I’ll sue them for money, then post it up on this blog)

It seems that the more I experience getting hired, the less excited I get about job interviews. Why, I remember when I was 15, heading out to look for work: I was dressed in a long-sleeved white shirt, black slacks, with my hair combed back with gel as I went from door to door to advertise myself.

Today, I walked around in a long-sleeved white shirt, black pants, with my hair too short to require combing or gelling of any kind. How things stay the same the more they change.

I guess it’s one of those things. Like flying on a plane. Or having sex. It’s all exciting before you do it, maybe for the first couple of times, but after that it’s just something to get out of the way.

(this does not imply that I am getting any. I draw comparisons using only my database of super credible sources, e.g. Kenny Sia)

They’ll tell you a lot of things about how to prepare for job interviews: like what colors you should be wearing, how you should shake your interviewer’s hand, how you should phrase your question, and things to say to appear more professional or competent. I would know – I’ve read some of it. A couple of months ago, I even had to produce a script on the subject based on preexisting materials.

But let me tell you this: unless you’re severely socially impaired (that is, more than me), you can chuck most of these advice out the window. I mean, seriously. If you’re not capable of doing a job well, no amount of “I acknowledge that’s one of my weaknesses, but I’m willing to learn” is going to convince anyone to hire you. My advice: go do something, become passably good at it, and then go and look for a job.

I mean, what do you take your job interviewers for – idiots?

Be good at what you do. Be real. Be honest. Be you.

(unless you suck – in which case, go and make yourself better, then go back and try to score that job)

Getting hired doesn’t get any simpler than that.


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