233. Happy Little Accidents

She made her list. She checked it twice.

She did this, of course, by the glow of the sunlamp as she sat curled up in her black leather sofa. She was a professional, and she treated her job with respect – she had to stay in top shape to do it well, and to do that, she had to treat her body well. It had, after all, helped her accomplish a great many things. Like taking care of the first name on the list.

Mike Corpuz. He had it coming. His name was already that close to “corpse”, to begin with. She remembered winking at him through the crowd at the ball. Some unimportant things happened in between, and then they were alone in an upstairs room. She stripped down to her lingerie as he watched, and she told him to close his eyes for a surprise.

He did. And she gave him three inches of stainless steel surprise – straight into his heart. There was a satisfying burst when it popped and collapsed in his chest.

On her sofa, she stretched and fed a handful of chestnuts into the fire. It cackled and popped, and a pleasant fragrance filled the room.

The second name. Louis Libarios. There was just something about alliterative names that she found incredibly appealing. Unfortunately, the man himself was short and morbidly obese. She was so put off by him that she didn’t even entertain him personally, only served up a batch of poisoned cocktail into the dinner that he was attending.

It was unprofessional, she admitted to that. Three other people died and seven more were hospitalized that night. There was a police investigation and everything, but she decided that it was worth it.

Then there was Mary Jane. There was something about the girl. Maybe it was because she had the exact same name as the girl from Spider-Man. Maybe it was because she turned out to have the exact same flaming red hair, luscious lips, and glittering eyes. Maybe it was her confidence and ambition, but she was heart-stopping sexy.

It was almost a pity that she had to be killed. But a job was a job. She found Mary Jane in the hotel washroom, only minutes before she was scheduled to speak to the potential investors. She grabbed Mary Jane, kissed her on the lips, and bashed her head against the edge of the sink.

Happy little accidents.

The last name on her list was Eden Hawkins. She looked up his facebook and found out that he was the top of his class at university. He had a bright future ahead of him, no doubt; but the boy just had to stick his head into journalism, leaving his neck exposed on the chopping board.

It wasn’t even difficult to get to him, unlike the first three. She just showed up at campus the week before exams and pleaded for this handsome, clever man to help her with revisions. She gave him a nonexistent address on her street.

As she laid on the sofa looking at her list, she heard the squeal of tires and a dull crash. There was another sound of tires squealing, and the revving of the engine disappeared into the night. People were screaming now, all distant sounds, insulated by the red brick wall. The roads were frozen over and impossible to drive on. No one would suspect anything.

Just happy little accidents.

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