209. That Awkward Moment

Remember when I said that I pretty much have my bachelor’s degree already, except that I owe my university a subject, which is Moral Studies?

Well. It wasn’t what I thought it was.

I apparently owe them a subject called Advanced Accounting.

(stabs self)

I somehow manage to land myself in awkward situations without even trying. Or even by trying not to end up in one. I’m not talking about that moment when you sit together at a dinner table, and realize that you’re all out of topics to talk about – that’s poor social skills. Nothing to be awkward about.

I’m talking about the situations that, when you find yourself in them, you roll your eyes and wonder why didn’t you try harder to avert it. It was perfectly within your power to escape the awkwardness, but you didn’t, and there you are.

Late last year, in the days preceding the new year, my father told me to get my CV together. Being the arrogant bastard that I was, I wrote in there that I had graduated with a bachelor’s degree in management and finance even though I didn’t actually have the degree with me. I reasoned that they’ll have to give it to me sooner or later.

So when I turned up for the job interview, I insisted again that I do have a degree – the university just hasn’t gotten around to giving it to me yet.

And now I realize that I have to go back to school to complete that one subject that I haven’t done. I think about the number of times I was given a chance to avoid this awkward situation, and I facepalm.

I think we’re just fundamentally stupid that way as human beings. Some time last year (or maybe it was 2 years past. One’s memory gets hazy once events pass a certain threshold), I wondered out loud how some people go on and make stupid decisions despite how glaringly stupid those decisions are.

Well now I know.

It’s not like we don’t know that the petrol is running out. Yet against all rationality, we drive past like 3 petrol stations. It’s not like we don’t know that we risk running late if we underestimate traffic conditions, yet we only leave the house as though God Himself promised us that traffic will be absolutely perfect for us to reach our destinations right on time.

It’s not as though we don’t know that things can, and most likely will, spiral into a horrifically awkward situation, but we allow it to happen anyway. I cannot think of any reason to this except that we’re just plain stupid.

But that’s okay. Embrace your stupidity. Then when it’s all snuggled up in your arms, pull out our dagger and stab it in the back.

I think a fundamental part of avoiding making stupid decisions is in accepting that we do make stupid decisions. And if the past few months, if not years, have taught me anything, it’s that I’m capable of making extremely stupid decisions.

(I say “extreme”; but beyond that, there’s a “jackass” level of stupid)

So now, as I wonder how will I explain this awkward situation to my boss, I am beginning to accept my stupidity and capacity of making the worst out of things.

And I hope that things can only get better from here on.


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